Today...I wanted to quit.

Two days ago I celebrated a few physical goals I'd set for myself. Although they were small they were worth celebrating. 

I realized today that transformation doesn't just happen on the outside. It occurs from within. In the past, I recalled thinking..."if only I could physically transformed myself to fit these stats" I would be fine. Boy...was I wrong. It is more about the mental transformation with "the physical" being the byproduct.  Today during one of my training sessions I literally considered quitting, even after 20+ sessions. Quitting - because I thought I couldn't do it. Self doubt had reared it's ugly head as it has for the last 15 years or so of my life. I was so upset with what "the mental" was taken from my physical performance and just wanted to give up. The last time I experienced this feeling was during my 97' basic training boot camp training - wow that was over 13 years ago.

After returning to the car I broke down crying and told myself I should be able to do this, it shouldn't be that hard, but it was, and that's OK. I now realize that until I win mentally, then and only then, can I win physically. Hard work requires challenging the mind and inner energy to it's maximum capacity. This is needed in order to get through the most difficult situation or perhaps a personal cheerleader, coach or helpmeet.

 

My husband tends to help me sort out these minor episodes of "self doubt" being the perfect compliment to my anxieties, fear of failure, or being too hard on myself. He often times is the great voice of reason for me. He clearly will not let me beat myself up, speak defeating thoughts, or talk myself into a loss before the victory. Today he did all that and more. I was grateful for the voice of reason at the time I needed it the most. Thanks, Babe.

In the mean time I plan to incorporate additional strategies that would deal with this type of behavior. I am more than a conqueror. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me - Philippians 4:13

I will be doing some mental repositioning this week in order to champion my physical abilities.

One blog I found to be helpful has been the state of the mind.

As always the mind is a terrible thing to waste. - Malcom X

Have a great weekend folks!!!

I'm ready to Lock and Load....

Now that the 100 days are over. I'm ready to lock and load.....

On my journey I have found many tools and strategies to stay on course. The first thing I had to do was create an environment that would support my goals - short and long.

I am on FB and it is a great place for support but it also had some drawbacks. The  "fb stalkers" <----those who went on your page, read your comments, but never said a mumbling word until they seen you. LOL. I don't know that was kinda weird for me, at first, now I'm okay with it.

What was I thinking? I entered the World Wide Web and thought I would maintain privacy - yeah OK.

After getting over this whole thing I realized that Facebook is what you make it. So, I began to changed some settings that would help me feel comfortable with what I had to say and share with my 300 plus friends. One of my favorite pages is Black Women DO Workout Page it's very inspiring and I love their page it has women who are "locked and loaded" Check out the The Gun Show. It's funny how people, places, and things can motivate you if you are open to it. I now wanted "guns" so I could lock and load, too. This became a new goal for me. LOL... The only limits that are on us are those we place on our self.

My baby guns are not that big, but web worthy, or BWDW notable. 

Here they are..... It's okay you don't need a bullet proof vest :-)

Finding the NEW old ME: 100 Changes in 100 Days...

Finding the NEW old ME: 100 Changes in 100 Days...: "Began a workout regimen and went from zero activity to 5-6 days of hard training, Go hard or stay soft - my new mantra.
Started weight tra..."

Today marked the 100th Day...

As I sit here and reflect on the last 100 days. I realized that I am truly blessed. God has  restored me from the inside - out. I remember crying in the shower one day in Dec. 2010 and saying  to God "I have done all I can"  I surrender to you...at that moment nothing happened. But today I am a firm believer that he heard my cry.

Over the past few years...I have experienced several tragedies, losses, and disappointments. I had learned to live with them until it all became too hard to live "there" anymore.  I had to changed. I have gone from victim...to victor...to victorious through the best way I knew how, prayer, guidance and perspective!!!

I figure the best way to address the guidance would be through sitting on a couch and sorting things out... otherwise known as therapy (I know many don't believe in it) but trust me it's not just for the "crazy" people. I had God, I am a professional and I have self diagnosed - thanks  to WebMD...LOL, but I realize that for perspective the combination of the three would be PERFECT!!!! Boy...did that changed many things, my life became full of twist and turns, upsets, peaks and now stable but FREE. Free from pain, free from suffering, free from self pity, free to gain my life back, free to be a warrior, free to be available for greatness. This approach helped me do some mental cleaning and allowed me to see my self worth and act on the things that would help me the best ME I can be. 

Perspective is everything!!!

The first thing I decided to do was face one of my biggest challenges - working out and eating better. It was the best and worse thing that I could do at that time. It was the worse because I was afraid that I wouldn't keep up or do as welland this would cause me to fall deeper into self-pity. And the best because to my surprise and fifty plus workouts later with over seventy new Food Creations I made it. I have decreased my risk for heart disease by losing 5 inches off my waist, and losing 10 percent of my body weight, and more became active than I ever have been. I am confident that this is no hoax - it's a permanent change that I truly enjoy.  
 

I will share  100 ways on how I changed in increments of 20 over the course of the next few days, check out the "100 Day" change page. ANd stay with me on my journey to living a healthy life, mentally, physically and spiritually.


Be Blessed,


Nakia

Thinking about the new year...

This post was done December 19th, 2010...
 
As I sit and contemplate the year that I had...I think about all the changes that shall take place. I know most will say why wait until the new year?!?! Well for me a new year constitutes a new beginning - a new year gives some hope to all that happened in the past 365 days is a wash and now I can have a new beginning to my end.

I am extremely grateful for the many blessings of this past year but looking forward to starting and executing new goals for myself. I am excited but also fearful to the potential failure of my dreams.

Well we shall see what the new year holds...